i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well I just put wine in my tea
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
