Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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