I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
