i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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