420 ftw
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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