great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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