Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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