I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
