With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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