Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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