you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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