I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
