Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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