I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
