Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
