OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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