I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
