Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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