i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i think my cat just said my name.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
