she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
why do cheetos always look like penises
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
