Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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