There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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