i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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