after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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