I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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