Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
