Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize