Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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