you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
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