Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You're like the curious george of whores
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
