What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Drunk is not a location!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
