I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize