My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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