dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
