ugly people sure do ruin things
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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