i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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