sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Randomize
