That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
