Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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