um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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