Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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