Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
In other news, I just burned my penis
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
