im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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