this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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