Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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