and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I currently don't understand fingers.
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