Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
