Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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