i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
