are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
