my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
