why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
PANTIES FOUND
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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