Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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