I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
