lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
