Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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