This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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