So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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