Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
