You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
