She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
