whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
someone threw a dead crab at me
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
